Shortly after the JLP European Tour, I came home only to turn around and go right back out with Patti Smith Group one more time. Being away from Patty (my girlfriend, not the singer) for six weeks took a great toll. My drug usage had made the leap from recreational to a problem. I knew in my heart that something was going to have to change. Before I left for PSG, Patty and I agreed to stop doing coke. We also started to come up with a plan that included getting out of Rochester, moving to Texas, getting married, and getting off drugs. I had already had discussions with JLP management about working directly for Jean-Luc during the upcoming fall tour. (Please note this is in direct violation of Karl’s Roadie Rule #2, "Never work directly for a band.") Going out on a short tour with Patti Smith was not exactly the right environment to be in to stay off drugs and stay faithful to my now fiancée.

There were several shows, but the one I met Lana at was Minneapolis. As we pulled up to the load in at the gig, she was sitting on the pavement near the backstage door. She wore a long dark dress that clung to her slender shape like an extra layer of skin. She had an expensive 35MM camera, and introduced herself to me as an aspiring photographer. "I have a degree in photography," I offered trying and succeeding in impressing her. "From where?" "R.I.T., but I quit after two years, I like mixing sound better." As impressed as she was by the photographer stuff she seemed even more impressed by the sound man declaration. "For Patti?," she was obviously a fan. "Well, sort of, I mix monitors for her sometimes." "Can I watch you work today? I promise I won’t get in the way." For a minute I thought this through to it’s logical conclusions. Possibility one: she’ll use me to get to the drummer, or guitar player, or hell, maybe even Patti herself. Possibility two: we’ll end up having sex, and Patty will find out, and the wedding will be off. Possibility three: We could become friends. After a quick mental calculation of the "risk vs. reward" on each scenario, I agreed to get her backstage all day to see us work. There was one unusual aspect about the gig that is different than many of the other stories I’ve told you so far. This was a two night gig. First day was set up and show only, the rest of that night and the entire second day was off, until near the second showtime, then a load out before heading to the next city.

Lana was wonderful. She had a full time office job but had taken the day off to see one of her favorite artists. Actually I believe she wanted to get backstage, and party with famous or semi-famous people. Instead she ran into me. She paid attention to no one but me all day. Even introductions to various band members had no effect on her. She could have "traded up" at any point but chose to stay with me. Closer to showtime I knew that my resolve would be tested. Eventually she maneuvered in close and attempted to kiss me. I averted her lips, and explained that I was recently engaged and that her friendship was as much as I wanted, I just didn’t think it was right for me to "start" with her. She smiled and said "Don’t you think you deserve one last fling?" I didn’t answer the question, I was too busy thinking about it. She kept her word and stayed out of the way all day. She must have been backstage a time or two since she seemed to be pretty knowledgeable about backstage etiquette. At one point she produced some above average quality cocaine, and I broke the first of many promises to Patty, by indulging in a line. We talked about photography, rock & roll, her life across the river in St. Paul, and artists I had worked with. By the time the show started I was beginning to re-think my allegiance to Patty, while trying to rationalize any events that probably were going to happen after the show.

The show was vintage Patti, she had seemed a lot happier this trip, compared to previous tours. This was due to her new courtship with Fred "Sonic" Smith. They had been introduced at an earlier show in Detroit, and they had become an item. Fred had been the part of the notorious "MC-5" group that was busted for drug possession in Detroit many years earlier. Now he fronted The Sonic Rendezvous Band, and he seemed to be just what Patti needed. I could tell being around Patti that she had many demons inside her that she needed help with. If you listen to her poetry (like Jim Morrison of the Doors, Patti always considered herself to be a poet first, and a musician second) you will her as an angry and bitter woman. She seemed to be more alive tonight than I had ever seen her in the dozen or so shows over the past year. She was focused on the show, Candi Slice was finally gone.

She took the stage wrapped in the American flag, wearing a black wide brimmed hat she had taken to wearing lately. She dove right into "Babelogue," (a free form poem that she would basically ad-lib every night),

As the crowd cheered, and the band built the volume, and as the raw untamed notes filled the air, she exploded into the first song.

"Baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore, baby got big and baby get bigger.

Baby get something, baby get more, baby, baby, baby was a Rock n’ Roll N****r

…Do you like the world around you, are you ready to behave?

Outside of society, they’re waitin’ for me. Outside of society, that’s where I want to be!"

She wasted no time launching into other crowd pleasers off the new "Wave" album like "Dancing Barefoot," "Frederick" (written about guess who?), and "So you want to be a Rock & Roll Star". There was also a good mix of songs from her other albums, including ones from "Radio Ethiopia," "Easter," and "Horses." The show closed with a "kick ass" rendition of the Who's "My Generation."  Lana loved the show, and the more I was around her the more I was actually considering cheating on my soon to be bride. At the conclusion of the show, unlike most shows, there was no load-out, only a brief securing of valuables like mics. After that was done, Lana organized a night out for the crew. "I know a place we can all go," she offered. Most of the crew agreed, and we all went back to the hotel after arranging to meet in the lobby in about 30 minutes. She followed me to my room so she could "change", since the club we were headed to was a blue jeans kind of place. She went in the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door. We continued to talk, as I tried not to look in the open door. "What do you think?" she said exiting the bathroom. I turned expecting to see her in jeans and a T-shirt, but she was completely naked. "Let’s make love now, before we go out so that we’ll be ready for round two when we get back." I turned away and said, "Lana please go back in there and put you clothes on, you know I’m getting married in a few weeks." "I won’t tell Patty if you won’t." That actually made sense for a split second. Before I could answer she came up behind me, and held me, "Are you sure you want me to get dressed?" It was painful, as I heard my mouth say, "Yes,… I’m sorry" I had done the right thing. She didn’t seem put off by my rejection, she probably took it as more of a challenge. She finally put on the jeans and T-shirt and we went to a club with several others from the crew. At the end of the night she suggested that we spend the day together tomorrow. "OK," I said, "Sounds like fun".

She knocked at my door the next morning. I answered the door in disbelief since I never really expected her to show up. We drove all over the twin cities that afternoon, even spending time at the zoo. We also bought some more cocaine, which we polished off prior to that night’s show (breaking my promise to Patti ). Late in the day she surprised me again. "Hey, if this thing with your girlfriend doesn’t work out, why don’t you give me a call, and then come spend some time up here in St Paul with me?" "OK," I said, "If things don’t work out I’ll do that." She gave me her phone number (which I cleverly added to my address book "in code"). I never really thought I’d use it, but it was a huge ego boost to know I had it. The day ended too soon, and she returned me to the theatre. She took a backstage pass, and told me she’d see me at showtime. I half thought she wouldn’t show, but there she was with minutes to spare. She said "Hi", kissed me on the cheek, and sat next to me at the monitor board for the entire show. She had given up trying to seduce me, and seemed a little distant tonight, which was understandable. Tonight there would be a load-out, but no drive. We were to spend the night in the same hotel. As we started to pack up, she told me she would say her good bye to me now. I was too busy for a long dramatic send off, but I think she knew that, and selected this moment to break clean. A minute later she was gone.

I didn’t sleep well that night. I almost called her several times, but I couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone. As I packed my bag the next morning, and got ready for a trip to the airport and a flight home to Patty, I went down the hall to get a coke (the soft drink) from the machine. Guess who I ran into there in the hallway?

Lana.

Before you think she was there for one last tearful goodbye, or to make one last ditch effort to get me to stay in Minnesota, she was actually there to spend the day with the PSG drum roadie (who had the day off). "I’m sorry Karl, you more than had your chance."

She was right, so I boarded the plane and went home to my future ex-wife.

I wonder if Lana took him to the zoo?

Upon my return, my fiancée immediately found the coded number in my address book (the code was pretty lame), and confronted me about it (it turns out she had all the entries memorized, and looked for new ones when I came home). I "fessed up" to the whole thing, and assured her that nothing irrevocable had taken place. She, of course, canceled the wedding and moved out, because she didn’t believe me. It took me a solid week of begging, pleading, and apologizing to get her to set this incident aside.

Patti Smith eventually retired and left the road later that same year (shortly after I did). She married Fred "Sonic" Smith in 1980, and had two children, Jackson and Jesse with him. I can only assume that they chased off each other’s demons and had a happy life together.

After her retirement, at least two of Patti’s songs have been re-released by major artists. "Because the Night" was recently remade by Natalie Merchant, and "Dancing Barefoot," has been covered by U2, and various other bands.

Sadly, the demons that Patti had finally slain back in the eighties, were reincarnated in a new form during the nineties. Fred died suddenly in 1994 of an apparent heart attack, and as she was still coping with that grief, a mere month later, her brother Todd (her one time stage manager, and the friend that helped me out that day she "lost it" with me), died of a heart condition as well.

I’ve seen Patti twice recently on "Late Night with David Letterman" promoting her new CD. I find it kind of odd that "Patti Slice" is now mainstream enough for CBS.

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This is a representative sample of the book "Roadie A True Story (at least the parts I remember)" and is the exclusive property of Karl Kuenning © 1998. This text may not be reproduced without written permission.